The ReiCam
by x Luna-chan
Summary: Well, Rei's been chosen to host a broadcasting show featuring the stars of Shaman King. God help us. Interviews and stunts that could feature baseballs and wet socks, oh Lord. Do I suck at summeries? Yes I do! I pray for the audience's safety, I really do
1. The Beginning

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Well, this is a fic about my Shaman King character, Rei, along with her spirit, Luna. They have been given the opportune moment to start a broadcasting show. Oh dear Lord, what have we done? It takes place after the shaman tournament.

(More about Rei and Luna can be found in my other fic, A Shaman Story.)

It might get a little crazy around here, but that's alright!

On with the show!

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**-- The Beginning --**

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Luna: Oh Rei!! (holds up a camera...how you ask? Who knows.)

Rei: What? ...Why do you have a camera? (sweatdrop)

Luna: Guess what?

Rei: Ren finally got personality and Horo's no longer a pig?! Are you serious?

Luna: (sighs) No, something else...something better! WE GET TO HOST A BROADCASTING SHOW!!

Rei: Oh. (takes a drink of a mysteriously appearing milk) What?! (spits milk all over the camera) Why?

Luna: (is disgusted with the milk) Because I signed us up! We get to do interviews, and skits, and all sorts of stuff! We even get a studio! (smiles a big cheesy grin)

Rei: (sighs) Great...well, I suppose we should go see it...

Luna: Yeah, come on! (grabs Rei)

Rei: I demand you release me at once! Ahhh!

(( _So, they go down into town to the studio. Someone is waiting for them...O.o_ ))

??: Ah, so you accepted the job.

Rei: (points a finger at the man...he's quite short) You...it's all your fault?! Goldva!

Goldva: Yes, it's a way to earn the Patch some money.

Rei: Oh? And I better get a cut of this money.

Goldva: Yes yes, of course. (crosses his fingers behind his back.) _Or...not..._

Rei: Fine, I'll do it. _What's it all about though...?_

Goldva: Good, good. Your first show is tomorrow! (runs away)

Rei: (groans) What... (hangs head down)

Luna: Come on Rei, we need to think up ideas! (holds up her index finger) AWAY! (drags Rei with her)

Rei: Hey wait! What the hell are we going to do??

(( _They go back to Funbari Inn to think of a topic for their first show ever...oh dear Lord, help us now. 0.0 _))

Rei: (evil grin) I'm thinking we make Ren go first! Mwahahaha! (thunder and lightning can be heard in the background) Oh, what to do, what to do?

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Well, that's it for now, sorry for the shortness, but tune in next time to see how Rei handles this situation.

Will Luna ever leave her be? Who will be their first victim? Where did that milk come from? How is it that a ghost can hold a camera? Why is my sock wet?

All questions shall be answered! Well...maybe not ...but...yeah...

Rates please! And give me your ideas, they may be used!

Want to be part of the audience? Want to ask a character a question? You can tell me who you want interviewed! Just PM me.

Well, Sayonara! **R&R! Please!**

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	2. Ol' MacDonald Had a Farm?

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Well, I'm back. Last time we left you with Rei plotting to do who knows what to Ren. 0.0 I'm scared already.

Now's about the time to tell you how old they all are. Rei's birthday is September 15, so she is 14. That makes Ren (and Lyserg) 15, and the others all about 16. (You'll understand why Ren's age is important later on)

Well, without further ado...ONWARD!

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**-- Ol' MacDonald Had a Farm?--**

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Rei: Ahhhh!! I can't think of anything! Damnit! (sits down on her bed, angry)

(( _Suddenly, Anna walks into her room...dun dun dun!_ ))

Anna: What's your problem? (she folded her arms as she awaited an answer)

Rei: Huh? Oh, I'm stuck doing a cable show about us, and I can't think of anything. Much less, how the hell am I supposed to get them there? (sighs)

Anna: (smirking) I can help you with that.

Rei: Really? How?

Anna: Just give me the time and place...they'll be there.

Rei: Hehehe...sweet...you **rock **Anna.

Anna: I know I do.

(( _Later that day at the studio..._ ))

Luna: So, do we have everything set up?

Rei: Yeah, I think. This place isn't half bad.

(_And she was right, it looked pretty damn awesome. There was a stage with a red and black backdrop. There was also a star theme. And there was a huge amount of seating for the audience. The best part was..._)

Rei: And I love that chair. (she smiled...woah...wait...Rei...smiled?? Rei??)

Luna: (jaw dropped to the floor)

(( _What...what has become of the world??_ ))

Rei: Wh-wha...why are you looking at me like that...Lu...hello??

Luna: Rei...YOU'RE HAPPY!! I knew this was a great idea!! (glomps onto Rei)

Rei: Ge-get off of me! (shoves off her spirit companion) You know I hate that!

Luna: Yeah yeah. _Ahh, still the same old Rei_ Hey look! Audience members!

(( _In the blink of an eye, the studio audience was filled. The Shaman King group was all behind set._ ))

Yoh: This is gonna be so cool!

Horo: Oh yeah!

Ren: Don't be so sure, Rei's the one running it...and I believe Anna is helping. (he folded his arms)

Rei: Alright you bastards, I need 5 people for todays segment...now...who's it going to be? (an evil smirk grew across her face) ...now..._whoever says anything is automatic...hehehe_

Ren: What for exactly?

Rei: Ahhh, Ren way to volunteer.

Ren: What?

Horo: Haha, she got you!

Yoh: Poor Ren!

(( _The two started to laugh at poor Ren. He was getting REAL angry too._ ))

Rei: HoroHoro, Yoh, you too.

Horo & Yoh: What? (both gaws dropped)

Rei: Just 2 more...Manta! Lyserg! Get over here, you're joing in today's segment! Ryu, you too.

Ren: You said only 5!

Rei: I changed my mind! Now, everyone else, take your seats in the audience! ...Don't look at me! I said...NOW!

Manta: Wow...she's really scary sometimes...

Rei: Manta, don't be a pansy! (she clapped her hands twice) Makeup!

All 6 Boys: What??

(( _And so, they were grabbed to get all fixed up in...who knows what...And Rei went on out to start the show. _))

Rei: Well, hello there world, how are you all tonight?

(( _Silence... _))

Rei: (anime vein) No answer, eh? Well...then I suppose none of you want to see Ren, Horo, Yoh, Lyserg, Manta, or Ryu...Hmmmmmm??

Fan Girls: Ohhhhhh!! Give us Ren!!

Rei: Wow...I didn't see that coming. (/sarcastic) Guys! Get out here!

Horo: But Rei...this outfit smells like feet...

Rei: I don't care, I'm not the one wearing it, so get out here!

Horo: But Rei...

Rei: Everybody, here are your people!

(( _The audience cheers as the boys come out...they're dressed up as...animals?_ ))

Rei: (Starts laughing) I can't...breathe...heheheheh! What are you guys wearing?

Manta: This is what makeup put us in... (He's in a mouse suit)

Ryu: Miss Rei...this isn't what I expected as my first cable appearance... (Starring as a horse)

Rei: Awwww...well deal with it! Hey--wait...where's Ren?

Horo: He refuses to come out... (He's a pig XD)

Yoh: I wish I was him... (As a duck)

Lyserg: Me too... (A sheep)

Audience: Awwwww, come out Renny! WE LOVE YOU!!

SK Gang: O.o"

Rei: Wow...

Ren: I despise you all!

Rei: Ren, get your ass out here!

Ren: I refuse!

Audience: Come on Renny!!

Rei: Uh, yeah, what they said...

Ren: I don't have to listen to you, I'm older!

Rei: No you're not!

Ren: I am!

Rei: Not. I'm over 65 times your age. I just don't look it! Respect your elders! NOW!

Ren: Grrrrrrrr...I still appear older so HAH!

Rei: Well why don't you come out and show me what you're made of?

Ren: Fine! I will! (Ren enters wearing a cat suit)

Rei: And there you have it audience, Tao Ren!

Audience: YAY!! Ren!!

Ren: I hate you Rei. You tricked me!

Horo: Yeah, and you fell for it fast too! (laughs)

Ren: What was that Ainu-baka?

Horo: (chanting) You got beat by a giiiiiirrrrllllllll! Ren got beat by a giiiiiiirrrrrrrlllllllllllll!

Ren: (fuming) Shut up!

Rei: Ohhhh...a cat fight. Literally! XD

Manta: That was a horrible pun Rei...

Rei: Shut up!

Ryu: The little guy does have a point...

Rei: Grrrrrrrrr...

Manta: Ryu, run away! She's armed! She has her double-dao!

Ryu: Run!!

(( _So, now we have TWO battles going on. We have Ren vs. HoroHoro! And Rei vs. Ryu and Manta! Now...where are Yoh and Lyserg_ ))

Yoh: Now it's really an animal circus...

Lyserg: Yeah...

Yoh: Hey Lyserg, what do you think that big red button does?

Lyserg: What, the one on the wall over there?

Yoh: Yeah!

Lyserg: I dunno.

Yoh: Lets go push it!

Lyserg: But we don't know what it does!

Yoh: So? (goes over and starts towards the button in slow motion)

(( _Everyone stops fighting. Ren has Horo in a chokehold, while Rei has Ryu and Manta in a corner._ ))

Rei: Yoh! No don't push that--

(( _Yoh pushes the button and the whole place explodes, leaving them standing there ashed._ ))

Rei: ...button...

Yoh: Opps...

Rei: Opps? How can you just say opps?! You blew up my studio!!

Yoh: Uh oh...run away!

Rei: Get back here you!

Yoh: I'm sorry!!

Rei: You're going to build this whole place all over again! By yourself!!

Yoh: Noooooooo!!

Rei: AND paint!

Yoh: Nuuuuu! Not the paint!!

Rei: Oh yes, the paint!

Lyserg: Well...everyone's busy, so this has been the first episode of our show! Goodnight!

Audience: Lyserg-sama! (fangirls chase Lyserg off stage)

Lyserg: I hate fangirls!!

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Well, that's all for now! But Yoh blew up the studio! Great, now we have to rebuild it...

So, until the Sayonara!

**R&R Would suffice very nicely.**

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	3. Turkeys, Bunnies, and Gym Socks

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Ahhhhhh, it's been so long…

I dedicate this segment to Thanksgiving!

Yay turkeys….

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**-- Turkeys, Bunnies and Gym Socks --**

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Yoh: (covered in paint after rebuilding the studio) The paint….it BURNS!!

Rei: Oh, deal with it.

Manta: So, Rei, what's today's segment going to be about?

Rei: Eh, no clue!

Horo: We could do……a puppet show!

Rei: Sure….why….not..?

Horo: You don't sound very enthused. (pouts)

Ren: That's because she's not, idiot. Puppets? For the love of God, what the hell is the matter with you??

Rei: Puppets it is! Everyone, make a puppet of yourself!

Ren: Hell no.

Rei: Grrrrrrrrrrrr……….

Ren: Fine! I'll do it! Just…just calm down!

Pirika: We can get Chocolove to do some comedy act?

Choco: YES!!

Everyone else besides Pirika: NOOOOO!!

Choco & Pirika: Ohhhhhh………

(( _Hours later_… ))

Rei: Okay…..sock puppets are now done……thank God……

Horo: Weeeeeeeeeeeee! Mini HoroHoro to the rescue! (the puppet lands on Ren's head)

Ren: Get…..that THING…..OFF OF ME! (throws the puppet)

Horo: (dives to catch it) There there Mini Horo, it's ok…..

Rei: And I thought he was insane before….

Ren: You made it worse.

Rei: DID NOT!

Ren: ….yeah, you did….

Rei: Whatever! Horo, you're in charge of the puppets in the show today.

Horo: WOOOOHOOOO!

Manta: …what did he eat today….?

Rei: If I was to guess……the entire fridge.

Manta: Yeah, that wouldn't surprise me….

(( _Later at the studio _))

Rei: Okay, people, it's time for our next segment!

Horo: Puppetsssssssssssssssssss….

Rei: Yeah…..

Manta: Are you really letting him do that…?

Rei: Well, there's nothing better to do….so….

Horo: Dadadadadaddundundundun!! Puppet time!!

Rei: (facepalm) What did we do?

Ren: (Walks onstage) What do you mean we?

Fangirls: RENNNNNNNYYYYYY!

Ren: (glares)

Horo: Out of the way! It's puppet time!!

Ren: Dear God……

Rei: So, without further ado, Horo and his puppets!

Horo: Ahem! ( Holds up the Mini Horo) So Mini Horo, how are you today?

Mini Horo: You suck!

Horo: O.O

Audience: O.O

SK Crew: O.O

Rei: (smirks)

Horo: (gulp) Oh…I see…..but….I thought we had a special connection! (cries)

Rei: Okay then…

Ren: He's talking to gym socks……and they're talking back……

Rei: Oh relax, they're not REALLY alive.

Ren: Then how?

Rei: Shaman. Ahem. Shaman with telepathic abilities. Errr…..elementalistic telepatic shaman. Ahhh…

SK Crew: We get it!

Rei: Sorry…..

(( _Back to Horo_ ))

Horo: (Mini Horo is on his face) GET IT OFF GET IT OFF! (Mini Ren attacks with a tiny kwan-dao) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (Mini Rei bite his arm) I'm under attack! ATTACK OF THE GYM SOCKS!! (The rest of the puppets start attacking Horo)

Rei: And so, dearest audience, this is what happens when you play with socks.

Audience: Ohhhhhhhhh……ahhhhhhhh…..

Horo: (Is dying) Help meeeeee…………

(( _Horo is dragged off set, while we move on to the next thing_ ))

Rei: Well, we've all seen what happens when Horo plays with dolls, so on to the next thing.

Manta: And what's that….?

Rei: BRING OUT THE TURKEY!

SK Crew: TURKEY??

Rei: Well, you see, in America….

Ren: That explains it. Stupid U.S. holidays…..

Rei: ANYWAY! In America, yesterday was Thanksgiving! So……I brought in a turkey!

Luna: Ahhhh, Rei….what are we going to do with a turkey?

Rei: …I have no idea….

Choco: Time for some comedy!

Everyone: NO!

Rei: Gimmee that turkey.

Choco: Why did the turkey cross the road??

Rei: To eat the idiot telling jokes about him.

Choco: Wha--?? (Is attacked by the turkey)

Rei: Hey! That's actually kinda funny!

Ren: Agreed.

Yoh: (still covered in paint) Hey guys.

Rei: You touch the button, you die.

Yoh: But why have a button if it can't be pressed??

Rei: Because!

Yoh: Because why??

Rei: Because it matches the door that can't be opened! DUH! (Realizes what she just said) Oh shit…

Yoh: (Eyes gleaming) You mean that door? (points to THE DOOR)

Rei: (sweat drops)

Ren: Way to go.

Rei: Shut up!

Yoh: (Opens the door) Woah………..O.O

(( _All is silent_ ))

Rei: YOH!!

(( _Thousands of colored bunnies come out of the door_ ))

Rei: Great. Now the vicious man eating bunnies are loose.



Yoh: (Covered in bunnies) HELP MEEEEEEE!

Ren: You opened the door, stupid!

Rei: (Is fighting off the bunnies) I hate all things fluffy. TIME FOR THE HEAVY ARTILARY! (Takes out bazooka)

Ren: Be careful with that! (slices a bunny in half)

Rei: Fine….here Manta, you use this.

Manta: Mwahahahahahahaha! Evil bunnies shall perish! (sends bunnies flying all over the place with the bazooka)

Rei: Burn bunny burn! (sets countless bunnies on fire)

Horo: (runs around the stage) First puppets…………….now bunnies!!

Ryu: No! The little guys are eating my hair! (cries)

Ren: Shut up and be a man!

Rei: Ren, that bunny is chewing on your tongari….

Ren: What?? (kills the bunny) Don't you touch _my_ hair!

Rei: Way to be a man, Ren.

Ren: Grrrrrrrr……….I hate these things. How do we get rid of them?

Anna: You guys are pathetic!

Everyone: ANNA!

(( _All the bunnies run back into the door, afraid of Anna_ ))

Yoh: Wow Anna, you even make cute fluffy bunnies cringe in fear!

Rei: He's dead now.

Ren: Yep.

Anna: (Runs after Yoh) Get back here you!

Yoh: Save meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Manta: I've never seen Yoh run so fast…

Rei: Well, if Anna catches him, he's gonna end up BEING a Thanksgiving Day turkey.

Everyone: (shudders)

Luna: Sooooo, what now?

Rei: That's it. We're done. Nothing more!

Luna: Okay! HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!

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So yeah, I hope you liked it! Tune in next time to see what crazyness cooks up!

**R&R! Please!**

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